“People who are self righteous and judgemental have the most self hatred of all because they refuse to change themselves. They point their fingers at everyone else, they see wrong everywhere. Because they are so critical, they attract much to criticize.” – Louise Hay

The most important relationship is with yourself. What we’re feeling within ourselves is what we will most likely project out on other people. If you have self hatred, you’ll be quick to judge and are easily belittling others. Self love will help you transition to becoming more compassionate and understanding. You will also notice that you will begin to have better relationships. Feeling more appreciation towards your loved ones and are always wanting the best for those around you.  

Why start this self love journey? You owe it to yourself to live a joyful and fulfilling life. 

My self love journey started when I was going through a toxic situation and came across a book called, “You Can Heal Your Life,” by Louise Hay. There was a chapter that spoke to me about forgiving and letting go of your trauma. Once we let go, we will be able to live in the present happily. Whether it has to do with abandonment, insecurities, trust issues, etc, it all stemmed from our past and childhood. These traumas tend to stick with us until we learn to let go. We must start by forgiving ourselves and of others to end a cycle that we are bringing into our everyday lives. Any healthy relationship starts with the relationship we have within ourselves. Here are 8 self love practices for you to get going on your journey.

Starting Your Self Love Journey ( 8 Steps)

1) Stop Criticizing Yourself

“One of the most important decisions we can make for our own spiritual growth is to totally release all criticism of others and most of all of ourselves.” – Louise Hay

We have about an average of  2,500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour. Do you have doubts and fears or are you replaying past moments that are constantly making you angry, sad, or just mentally draining? What will help this process is by learning to be more aware of your thought patterns. For every negative thought that comes to mind, rephrase it to something more positive. For an example, “I am not good enough,” quickly replace that statement with “I am successful at everything I do.”

Start telling yourself a different story and begin believing that you are WORTH IT.

2)Training Your Mind to be More Positive

“Life mirrors my every thought” – Louise Hay

The way you think has an important effect on how you feel and act. We naturally were taught to think for the worst as we are “preparing” for the feeling of disappointment. This is where we break that habit of thinking for the worst. Just like that saying, don’t make a “molehill into a mountain,” know that there’s always a solution to every problem. Whatever energy you’re putting out, you will only attract more of it. Once you can train your mind to have better thoughts, you will receive a better outcome.

3) Mirror work

 “Affirmations are like planting seeds.” – Louise Hay

Louise Hay was the queen of positive affirmations. One of her greatest teachings was doing mirror work. Mirror work is looking into your reflection and saying, “I love you,” everytime you’re in front of a mirror. It may feel awkward and weird at first. However, this is building your self esteem and will have you feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Writing positive affirmations on a daily basis will plant these seeds and implement a new mentality. Repeating positive affirmations out loud every morning will give you that boost of confidence to start out your day. The more you feel confident, the more you will be able to overcome any obstacles that come your way.

    Here are some of my positive affirmations that I started with:

• My love and acceptance of others is mirrored to me of every moment.
• I am at peace.
• I love and approve of myself.
• I deserve the best and accept the best.
• I am beautiful.
• I am loved everywhere I go.
• I leave the past behind me. I blessed the past with love and let it go.
• I radiate love and respect and in return I get love and respect. 
• My body is healthy, my mind is brilliant, and my soul is tranquil.
• All is well. Everything’s working out for my highest good. Out of this experience, only good will come. I am safe and trust life. I release all fears and doubts. The old unfolds into new and wonderful experiences.

4) Love Your Body

“It’s an act of love to take care of your body. As you learn more and more about nutrition, you’ll start to notice how you feel after you eat certain foods. You’ll figure out which foods give you optimum strength and lots of energy. Then, you’ll stick to eating those foods.” – Louise Hay

Let’s start with building a positive body image. Rather than comparing yourself to others, learn to love your body as is. Know that you’re doing this for yourself and no one else. Choosing to eat healthy & exercise comes from having a healthy mindset. Focus on appreciating and respecting what your body can do. Start small by adding vegetables onto your meals. For example, I’ll have a side salad of cilantro, romaine lettuce, thin sliced of red onions, an avocado, and squeezed lime or lemon juice as the dressing for my salad. Replace some of your snacks with fruits. As time goes by, you’ll notice that your body will start craving for more healthy dishes. Stay active just by going on walks twice a day. Instead of taking the elevator or escalator, take the stairs. These small changes will make a huge difference and you will be able achieve your goal body weight.

5) Find Your Soul Tribe

“You are who and what you surround yourself with. Let them be GOOD things and GOOD people.” – Louise Hay

Be selective of the energy you would want to surround yourself with. The people you hang out with can either be draining or uplifting. We tend to pick up good or bad habits from the people around us. So why not allow yourself to be around those who are loving and who are constantly learning and growing. Having a great support system all around will inspire you to become greater. Your soul tribe are people who share the same values and beliefs. They believe in your passion, your craft, and respect your views. They will not put you down or compete with you. Your soul tribe will be your greatest support team! 

6) Meditation, Nature, and Animals

“Acknowledge yourself for being centered when there is incredible chaos around you. Acknowledge yourself for being courageous and for doing so much more than you thought you could.” – Louise Hay

Quiet your surroundings and listen from within. Release any negative emotions that need to be addressed. Do not push away or distract yourself from what is stressing you out. Being out in nature brings tranquility and clarity to help us dive deeper into our soul. 

Meditation will calm your mind and help you stay centered. There are a lot of free meditation and chanting videos to help guide you into a safe and calming space.

Being around animals will give us the emotional support and unconditional love during the good and bad times. 

7) Have Patience with yourself

“Don’t drown in a sea of your own negatively, when you can float on the ocean of life.” – Louise Hay

Learning to love yourself is an everyday practice. It will take time to develop new thought patterns and habits. You’re off to a great start when you are becoming aware of your negative thinking. Take 5 minutes out of your day to love and appreciate the person you are today. You will notice how much happier you are becoming because you are gradually eliminating self criticism and replacing it with self love. 

8) Healing, Honesty, & Self Respect

“All the theories in the world are useless unless there is action, positive change, and finally, healing.” – Louise Hay

Healing will take time. Your past traumas are like having a bad reaction to certain foods that our body cannot take. It’s a part of us, but it’s up to us to find the right foods and avoid foods that will either help or trigger the issue. Finding the root of the cause will set you free. 

Self reflecting is the key to healing. This is where honesty comes into play. Being honest with yourself will help reveal what resentments you are holding onto and what unhealthy behaviors continue to resurface. Now break that cycle by forgiving and releasing what no longer serves you. Learn to love and appreciate who you truly are. Self respect is putting your needs and wants first. It comes with setting boundaries to protect ourselves from unhealthy environments.